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Parents Deliver Teenager |
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Press Release Loving parents, Denny and Gretchen Lawton, reported that they successfully delivered their fourth teenager into the world. "This is a catch and release household," explained Gretchen. "We don't believe that we could or should have control over this free, independent, living being. Captivity is not appropriate for college-age youths. We believe that it is best for her if she can grow and thrive out there on the range where the deer and the antelope play." Scientists who study teens like Hannah now believe that teens no longer require a supportive hand just to stand up, like the one shown in the photo. In most cases, teens are able to independently hold hands, shake hands, or tell others to 'talk to the hand'. Single and successful older brothers Jesse, Jake, and Joey confirmed that, like their baby sister, they were also given the support and the gift of freewill they needed. They feel that Hannah will bear the awesome responsibility that comes with it. They expressed one lingering concern, however, "We just don't understand how she got a name that starts with an 'H'." "Don't mistake all this talk about getting her out of the house," said Denny. "Our children will always be welcome to use our laundry and raid the refrigerator during breaks and vacation seasons." The parents are expected to make a full recovery after the delivery. Next week: Parents Face Economic Drain For more information, contact: H. Lawton
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